Friend or Foe?

I thought tonight we may have a little discussion on the topic of friendship. A bit trivial but there is always things to say on the matter. 

My teacher was right when she said that a true journalist always wants to write. It was yet another night when my friend Paul and I started talking on serious topics. This time the topic was “friendship.” In his theory you can have a multitude of friends, acquaintances, or colleagues, personified infinitely if you include your social media contacts. However true friends, or BFFs are harder to find and can be counted on one hand, maybe two if you’re fortunate enough.  Ask yourself how many true friends you have and what defines them as true friends.  Also on how many of their lists would you appear? 

What is friendship? This seems an easy question at first, yet the deeper you look, the more criteria unravel individualized to your unique personality: reliable; trustworthy; honest; empathetic; with mirrored emotions such as happy, funny, caring, etc. A true friend is there when you need them as you would be for them, spends quality time with you giving support whilst not judging your mistakes, even if the whole world is against you a friend will stay on your side whilst facing the world. It was Martin Luther King, Jr. who said “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” 

Through the years the term “friendship” has changed a lot depending on what the people are looking for in this particular time period. In ancient Greece for example the topic was widely discussed by Plato, Aristotle, and the Stoics. They saw the openness in friendship as an enlargement of the self.

What is interesting to be said here is that according to a study documented in the June 2006 issue of the journal American Sociological Review, Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships since at least 1985. The study states that 25% of Americans have no close confidants and that the average total number of confidants per person has dropped from four to two. What are the reasons behind this decline?

 There’s always the old saying “a friend in need is a friend indeed” which gives the right idea of lot a true friend would do for you.

A friend is someone you can rely on without second thoughts. Someone who is not going to judge despite of what you did. It is someone that will support you and be there for you no matter what, even if the whole world is against you a friend will stay on your side and face the world.

Someone once told me that a friend is that person that you can call at 4 o’clock in the morning advising that you killed someone and he/ she will say “Where are we digging?” Although this is an extreme example the point focuses upon the fact that a true friend will help you in any situation without hesitation or questions. A friend will stay throughout the years and won’t leave after the first difficulties, he/she will stay and hold your hand if you need it. 

Maybe, the idea that a person “always being there for you” is outdated, nowadays friendship may simply be someone that you can drink or talk to.  I guess the best way to describe a friend would be someone you can go to for support whether emotional, physical or spiritual.

What is your definition of a friend?